I often get asked ‘how’ I receive messages from the universe or spirit world. The answer is fluid and open to interpretation, it cannot be defined or backed by a scientific formula to validate my experiences for you. Simply because I work with natural and etheric cycles, which exist based on alchemic formulas, not scientific. It’s like trying to explain to someone how cars work by giving you a bowl of fruit. Not the same, therefore no matter how long I ask you to examine the bowl of fruit, you will never learn the mechanics of a car? So..nature, the universe, the spirit world (insert what resonates best here) communicate with me (bearing in mind I can only share based on my own personal experiences, and understand that it varies greatly for others. There is no right or wrong. We feel what we feel) using subtle symbols. And the more one sits in the discipline and practices, the more natural it becomes to receive and decipher messages. In matters of my own personal development, I find that the symbols will start off very subtle, gently supporting the physical reality. If I miss opportunity for acknowledgement the symbols build and build until it becomes like a lesson in life slapping you in the face. Another noteworthy point is that intuition always feels good…that is, when you ask yourself a question and tune in, your intuition always answers with a positive feeling. For example, “Should I sell my car?”…your intuition (or gut) will feel at ease and good if selling your car is best for you at this time. If you get uneasy feeling, you can rephrase the question to sense the alternate response; “Should I keep my car?”…if the gut feeling is positive and at ease, then you are telling yourself that for now it is best to hold on to the car. Judging what feels good or not good to do, becomes easier with practice too! Another form of communication I enjoy is through the animal kingdom. For example, a butterfly lands on your hand out of nowhere and sits there calmly, drawing your attention. You can tune in to the energy of the butterfly (or search one of the many great animal totem blog sites) and you feel that the butterfly is symbolic of transformation in a particular area of your life, career, love life etc. If you are open to this, you will begin to see animals showing up physically, digitally or in dreams. Recently, I had an experience where I felt someone was being dishonest with me. I couldn’t quite put my finger on the details (and often the details are not necessary until we are offered the gift of hindsight), but my intuition told me that things were not as they appeared. One night, I had a very vivid dream where myself and a group of friends were sitting around a fire and all of a sudden an ocelot walked through the middle of the camp. It was unusual, and I woke up thinking about ocelots. Out of all the big cats, I can honestly say that ocelots are not up there in my conscious mind's top five. So, I search for this animal totem on my phone (as you do!) and am shocked to read that ocelot appears when someone is not being honest or doing things behind your back etc… So for me, this was the confirmation and forewarning that I needed to protect my integrity by not reacting and becoming either the bully or the victim once the truth unfolded. About a week later, it did bubble to the surface, but because I had processed the emotions, I was able to respond mindfully and not react like an asshole (which would only cause more healing work for me down the track). That is just one personal example of how messages are able to be received when I am free flowing and aware of what is around me, and how it can be a useful tool to monitor and maintain an gentle space within and not get caught up in the drama of experiences and circumstances. I welcome you to share your own stories, or ask me deeper questions regarding my personal experiences and understanding. With love xxx
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How do I begin to integrate my higher self into this life without looking like a weirdo? Good question. You can’t! Once you dive into the great waters of self development and spiritual exploration, others will begin questioning your sanity, as much as you have begun to question your own. In the process of becoming who you have always been, you will appear different to others, you will lose friends and old habits. Mindsets and possessions that you no longer need will start to crumble away. It is the great unraveling, stripping you back to that beautiful sparkle at the very nature of your being. It is no thing to fear, it just is. It is terrifying and exciting and most definitely addictive once you dip your toe into the water and begin to understand the delicate blueprint of your hearts truth. But, just as everything in nature is balanced, so too is your awakening! For every challenge you encounter (which of course is just an opportunity for growth and healing) you will be offered new friendships, soul connections and opportunities to harness your highest potential in abundance and skills to love and accept yourself in wholeness. You will feel compelled to share your excitement and enthusiasm with others, and you will be mocked. You will want to tell everyone how much you love them and how fucking incredibly grateful you are to have them in your life, and they may take a step back because you are too much. You will begin to feel more connected to everything around you than ever before, and yet more alone than you have felt in your life. Your ego will be tested again and again, until you understand that this flesh pocket we inhabit in this earthly life, is nothing but a vessel, a navigation tool to unlock the experiences necessary for the growth and evolution we hope to accomplish on this journey. Once seen, you can no longer unsee. Trust me though, it is all worth it. You are no longer trying, you just are! And you are such a fucking ray of sunshine and hope on our little green and blue planet. You are the one you’ve been waiting for. Shine your sparkle and love hard! My response to #MeToo In the two weeks since I wrote my blog about my abusive experience on a recent long haul flight, there have been a viral number of #metoo posts on social media, where women have shared their experiences of abuse, after a number of Hollywood celebrities came forward regarding abusive men in their industry. I have sat back from this so far. I felt my original blog touched enough on this subject. This morning however, under the power of this dynamic new moon and Uranus (my zodiac’s planet of influence) it is time to feel the fear and find my voice…*deep breaths* #MeToo… From age TWELVE I was harassed on a daily basis. I took the bus from school, and had approximately 1km to walk between there and home. Every single day without fail, from age 12, still wearing my school uniform, I was subject to car horns, wolf whistling and various forms of “Show us your tits”, “Show us your pink bits”…etc. This was my introduction to men, and the role I was expected to play, in order to be accepted, loved, desired or valued. My worth would now be determined by how worthless another man could make me feel in his compulsion to behave or act in a way that demeaned my existence. This little seed, grew larger and larger, and my own voice became more like a mist, that never got the chance to become seen or heard. From here my relationships were dictated by my male counterparts. I would sacrifice my friendships, my interests and my time to invest it into their interests and their friendships. I became a shadow of myself. I longed for the constant validation that I was good enough, and worthy enough to be loved. I have been in relationships from my mid teens where my boyfriend would phone me up drunk an hour late to our date, because he was out with the boys. He would always promise to ‘make it up to me’. It kept me in a place of submission, where I would always be available when he wanted me. I kept me in that cycle of need love and acceptance. I said nothing. I have been in relationships where my boyfriend has had his hands around my neck, screaming abuse into my fearful eyes as they welled up with tears and my heart raced Further reinforcing his dominance and my need for acceptance and love. I did nothing. I have been abused by someone I loved and trusted while I slept. I have been told what I can and cannot wear. I have been told I am fat, I am ugly, my breasts are too saggy, my face is too pimply and my body is too hairy. I have been spat on. I have been groped. I have been threatened when I have refused another sleazy offer. I’ve said nothing. I have been afraid to walk alone at night. I have been told that I will never find another man who would put up with me. I have been told I am not girlfriend material. I have been told I am too much. I have been abused on a plane. I have been propositioned by friend’s Dads. I did nothing. I did nothing but drown in my own fear. Fear of being hurt. Fear of losing people I loved. Fear of creating conflict and drama. Fear of not doing as I am told. Fear of the fear. Well now, I know better and as I type these last few words, I am also choosing to let those last droplets of fear escape from my eyes. I am the only validation, the only acceptance and the only love I need. Anyone who believes they have the power to take that away from me, or anyone else, needs to take a long hard look at themselves. Today I kiss myself and I hug myself. I survived! All of that and more, and i survived. But if you expect me to keep my mouth shut from now on, you will have to fucking burn me at the stake! Know better...do better. I affirm sovereignty over my body. I acknowledge the power of my voice and I honour my worth as a woman, and as a human being. #metoo! I got divorced. Not something I would ever have imagined myself saying in this life, and yet, it has been a necessary experience to understanding myself in relation to my own truth, versus the projection of what is acceptable and expected within our (mainstream) society. I was surprised how anxious and emotional I felt after the divorce court hearing. Most of the last two years has been time spent devoted to processing the unraveling of my marriage and relationship to my children’s father. I knew that divorce was required to offer closure and finalize the union. I felt at ease and was happy with our decision. The emotions that surfaced that afternoon however, had little to do with the ending of a marriage and so much about the expectation placed on me as a little girl, that I have carried for thirty years; to marry, breed, keep my mouth shut and be grateful like a good little wife. (Basically generations of crap!) And then, spending half my life longing for and manifesting that dream into reality, even though, it was never actually a dream inspired by me, but a projection dictated by Western society. My mind then wandered on to the confusion that began festering after I had ticked all of those boxes. Everyone was so proud, but I felt unfulfilled with life. Guilt surrounded me. I carried fear and the shame that maybe nothing would ever be good enough? I grew hungry…hungry for more. An identity of my own, and not just one half of something. I desired to seek my own truth and honour my own needs as well as keeping a happy husband and nurturing our children. Did that make me abnormal? I longed to understand the depths of my passions. I longed to learn, to study and to share with others. I longed to find my voice wedged somewhere in between making lunches and navigating sleepless nights. The urge grew strong and it no longer mattered that I would be judged and misunderstood. (rest assured you will be judged no matter what you do in life!) Let them talk! The more I grew into myself, the more I grew out of our marriage. But I couldn’t stop growing, I couldn’t stop being honest with myself, and none of what resided within the deepest parts of me seemed to be in alignment with the foundations that our relationship was formed upon. And so it began to crack open. Providing more and more opportunities for growth in each of us, until finally, the lessons had all been learned. It no longer served either of us to stay. The commitment to our spiritual contract had been honoured and signed off, and we went our separate ways. It is not, and has never been a failure, just a journey that we both agreed to walk for a while. Our relationship has evolved to be one that focuses on the welfare and raising of our children. In doing so, we have gifted each other the opportunity to become better versions of ourselves, alive and aware in all moments. Our hearts are reopened to the potentials of new love. And that is all we ever need. It’s been a very interesting couple of weeks, and I need to get something off my chest. When I step out of my house, I am not inviting men to comment, whistle or touch me. Yet this is what happens (all the time!) And it’s not just me... The more I embrace my own truth and accept myself, the less tolerance I have for the incessant degrading behavior from pathetic self entitled examples of men. A few weeks ago, I embarked on an overnight long haul flight from Perth to Doha. I was travelling alone, and placed in a middle seat in between two men. The man to my left, (seat 30A) felt within his rights to begin touching my leg and inner thigh whilst I slept! This man was lucky I did not break his knuckles as I elbowed his hand onto his side of the armrest. The abuser casually turned to face the window and pretended to be asleep for the duration of the flight. I cannot tell you how many times I have replayed this experience over in my head, in a mixture of shock, fear and violation, thanking the universe that I had not knocked myself out with sleeping tablets, or the events could have spiraled further. With over six hours left on the flight, I sat afraid in my designated seat, unsure what to do, what my rights were as a passenger, and how I was going to keep myself safe for a three hour transfer in Doha and then another six and a half our flight to Edinburgh. I reached across for my buzzer and nervously waited for a flight attendant. “Excuse me?” I whispered, “I would like to move seats please as this man to my left keeps touching me.” The flight attendant barely flinched, informing me that the flight was very busy, but she would look to see if there are any spare seats. Five or ten minutes went past, though it felt much longer and she returned to advise that the plane was at capacity, and there were no available seats, but I should notify the staff if it happened again…HAPPENED AGAIN? I was expected to sit there and risk my wellbeing? What the fuck? Gratefully, the man to my right woke up as the attendant stood over him, and he offered to exchange seats with me for the duration of the flight. I made it safely to my destination, but my anxiety built over the week thinking about my return flight home and my safety as a woman travelling alone in general. I began googling ‘sexual abuse on planes’ and disturbingly this type of offence is extremely common with lone women on overnight flights. Apparently, it needs to be radioed whilst in flight by the pilot to the airport at the destination for any investigation to take place. So because I whispered politely to be moved, and didn’t rant and rave about being abused on a plane full of passengers, this creep gets away with his sleazy antics, and I now have a duty to share that knowledge as far and wide as I can! I the weeks that followed, I have been cat called by a man in a van as I walked through my hometown, approached on the internet for a threesome, and by a random who just liked the look of my facebook profile pic, and finally, today at the beach I walked past the café holding hands with my son, and an elderly man whistled at me like I was a dog. I refuse to raise my sons believing it is ok to treat women this way. I have had enough! Just because you have eyes and hands and a penis does not give you the right to sexualize me in any way shape or form. And just because I have a vulva does not mean I am vulnerable to the point of mistaking your disrespect and arrogance for charm or feeling pretty or acceptable enough in the eyes of a twisted patriarchal society. To all the abusers past and present, fuck you! Approach me at your own risk. Better yet, why not practice being a loving, caring, decent human being? To all the good men out there, thank you. I love you. Please continue to lead by example, raise good men for our daughters and speak up for yourselves and for women when we need it most. And to all my sisters, lets continue to rise up in all our wildness, empowered by the truth that we embody the Goddess and together or alone we are unfuckwithable. And so it is. With love. |
AuthorLaura E. Gillett was born and raised on the Northeast coast of Fife, Scotland. A natural born psychic medium, she relocated to Western Australia with her family as a young teen, where she began to develop her deep calling into understanding spirituality. Now a mother to three children, Laura navigates parenting alongside operating her holistic therapy business, and creatively documenting her understanding of spiritual process and healing. Archives
December 2017
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